Relationships . . . a huge topic! So huge that I don't know what to say in a short time that could be meaningful, so I dug out my old Webster again, and looked up "relate." Once again, I was surprised! (I'm really enjoying these word studies, which expand my own understanding of the English language.)
The first definition listed is "to bring back" (taken from the word "relatus"pp. of "referre"). Interesting . . . but as I think about it, don't relationships often require the "bringing back" of persons to each other who have drifted apart because of sins common to the human race or simple misunderstandings? Consider the concept of establishing a relationship between us and our heavenly Father. Didn't Jesus' death on the cross and subsequent resurrection provide for the possibility of re-establishing, or "bringing back" the relationship between God and mankind? The original relationship God had with Adam and Eve that has been disrupted by our sin?
Then we move on in the definition to "have connection, show sympathetic understanding and awareness." Traveling with my new four guests in my little lilac vehicle this past week in the Land of Abundant Life has been a study and an exercise in relationships! Our close quarters during driving time have tested and stretched each one of us, but I have also been encouraged to see increasing efforts to communicate ("connect and sympathize"), therefore producing greater understanding and listening skills.
We arrived together today at the RELATING DOOR, and I approached it with my key, prepared to lead the way inside. To my surprise, a man stood outside the door, presumably guarding the entrance. He was dressed all in white and his face glowed with peace and joy. Assuming he was an angel, my hands began to shake as I clasped the precious key tightly and glanced around to see the others hanging way back. Wish I could have hung back too, but I was the key holder!
"Please leave your possessions outside the door," the guard addressed me kindly.
I thought I had left everything in the car and glanced down to my hands, where he was staring. "Oh, I just need my lunch bag and my lap top . . . and my cell phone . . . and my purse . . . "
"You don't need to take any possessions inside this door."
"But . . . " I hesitated. Not knowing if there were thieves in this Land, I had been careful up to this point to protect my possessions.
He seemed to read my mind. "I'll keep your belongings safely for you."
Still I hesitated, admitting to myself that those simple possessions did mean something to me. The lap top could be replaced, but its case had been a gift from a friend and is engraved with a favorite Bible verse. My lunch bag, of course, isn't important, but I chose it because it is designed with artwork that suits my personality. How important was this RELATING ROOM anyway? Maybe I should just skip it altogether.
"There is something you can bring with you, my friend," he spoke with encouragement. "You can bring people."
I looked at my new friends waiting patiently behind me. Then I faced the decision that I evidently was intended to face: which was more important . . . my stuff . . . or my friends? Should I be selfish and deny these people the enriching experience that no doubt waited us behind these doors?
Quietly, I set my stuff down besides the angel, turned and beckoned for my companions.
Once inside, I realized the foolishness of my hesitation. I saw only people . . . in a gorgeous setting of nature, of course. No televisions, games, stores, or any kind of material pleasures. Not even chairs or tables. Some sat on rocks or grassy hillsides, others on the ground. Children explored objects of nature and played games of imagination. Plenty of people were quite obviously finding simple pleasure in each other's company. And I did too! The time flew by. I found my load lighter, and my self free of accumulations, able to focus my complete attention on another person and share with them, heart to heart. (Even as I write this, my husband is trying to talk with me and I am hurriedly writing these words down so as not to lose my train of thought. Honey, do you want to take a break with me in an hour or so and have tea and relate? I make a mental note to invite him. :) )
Once again, I have taken up more space here than I intended! One more thought to leave us with today . . . the importance of communicating properly with each other, which is vital to the process of relating. I personally think that the most important tool for good communication with another person, especially one whom we love, is to speak words that he/she will understand the same way we intend for them to hear. And this takes practice, on both the speaker's and the listener's part! As an example, I recall an incident where my oldest son, K, was in kindergarten. His class had just finished a session of informing students what to do if they or their house caught fire. He got the "Stop, Drop and Roll" part, which was fortunate. But then he explained to me that if our house caught on fire he was supposed to take his shoes off and run outside! Further questioning revealed that the teacher had actually told him that if the house was on fire, he was supposed to run outside immediately, not even stopping to remove his shoes. Which of course, made far more sense to me, and eventually to him, too, once he gave it some thought. I don't know what words the teachers used (most likely at least part of the miscommunication involved poor listening on his part (!) But this example does show the importance of expressing ourselves in ways that will reach the other person with the appropriate understanding, and also the importance of checking to make sure the other individual did get the concept you were initially trying to get across!
Let's return for a moment to the first definition: "bring back." That sounds like the process of reconciliation to me. As Christians, let's make it a point to be conscious to speak and relate in ways that will help others to reconcile to Christ, which is truly all that matters in this world! "Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation," 2 Corinthians 5:18
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