I am dedicating the Empathy Key to my mother, whose birthday is November 28. My mom now resides in Heaven and, although I have learned to accept her absence, I still miss her as much as ever.
My mom's name is Ruth, which means "compassion." That characteristic is probably the best way to describe my mother. Compassion and Empathy go hand in hand; hence the reason for this blog. (Besides, I needed an "E" for the contest!)
So why would a Key for helping other people give me a more Abundant Life? One reason was touched on in my last blog . . . remember the "mid-day" face? Whatever good we do for another human being not only comes back to us, but it enriches our life experience. Of course, if we only do good for another for the purpose of enriching our lives, the act will backfire and create bitterness in our own hearts instead of joy. Father God, please make my motives pure and unselfish always!
One can't be truly compassionate without possessing the ability to empathize. People always came first to my mom. Growing up in the fifties and sixties, I lived with my parents in a small farming community. People would often just drop in on one another to visit, seldom bothering to call ahead. When my mother took me with her to call on a neighbor, we usually found the neighbor at work. Many of the people we visited would continue on with her chores while we talked. But when someone would drop in on us, Mom never failed to set her work aside and give our guest her full attention. She cared deeply and sincerely about other people and they could tell, just by being with her.
My mother had a beautiful solo voice (which is beside the point, but so much a part of how I remember her that I needed to mention it!) A few days before she left for her new home in Heaven, I asked her to save a seat in the heavenly choir for me. I didn't receive a similar talent in this life, but I am counting on possessing a beautiful singing voice in the next one!
Back to the Empathy Key: This door is shaped like a huge red heart. Not much thinking needed here. The reason is obvious, because the Empathy Key opens the door to another person's heart! Am I correct? YES! As I turn the knob, the door swings open to a vast assortment of humanity . . . some wealthy, others poor; some well-dressed, others wearing rags; some sparkling-clean, others scrungy-dirty; some healthy, others in obvious pain. A group of men play basketball, some of them wearing braces and prothesis or braces on their legs. Others sit in wheelchairs and watch the game, cheering on their friends.
But in spite of the suffering I see exhibited, no ones seems unhappy. Smiles are all around . . . people lending a hand, serving food, caring . . . A young girl in a wheelchair reads a story to a blind woman. A well-dressed, elderly woman sits with her arm around a young homeless man, listening with rapt attention to his story. A young boy wipes the nose of a toddler.
There are no walls in this place, no cubicles. Each person has an open heart ready to receive the pain of another and extend pleasure in return. No one seems to feel lonely; all can find someone who will take the time and make the effort to understand.
Please take notice, I am talking here about the practice of empathy, not sympathy. Sympathy has its place . . . at funerals, in hospitals, etc. But Sympathy can only go so far to help another person. Sympathy satisfies a temporary and genuine need. . . to acknowledge pain and give permission to cry, hurt and grieve. Sympathy holds and comforts.
But Empathy lifts up another. It meets another person in the deep part of the soul . . . and truly feels their pain . . . thereby giving them encouragement to go on . . . to put the pain behind them or move ahead in spite of it.
Sympathy holds and comforts.
Empathy comforts and heals.
Empathy trusts God to use our uncomfortable and painful life experiences to give assistance to others. Then my trials will not be wasted, if I can use them to help someone else going through a similar situation. " . . . God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 3b,4
Empathy can even listen with understanding to someone from another station in life. We all know what it feels like to know rejection, fear and anger . . . to name a few emotions. Even if the situation is different, we can remember a time in our own lives when we felt similar emotions and with God's help and our imaginations, apply those feelings like a bandaid to another's wounds.
Sympathy stands outside and looks in with pity on the sufferer.
Empathy enters that place and walks besides the one who suffers.
My middle name is "Ruth (Compassion)." Father God, please let me live up to my name and use the shadows in my past to bring sunshine to others.
Anyone memorizing the verse I post each week in the box on the right?
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